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Sports Jokes!

Where is the sailor on the field? On deck!
Proposed rule change: 9 players, 8 uniforms!
Manny Ramirez remains unsigned. And ungroomed!
How to get suspended by MLB: Corking yourself!
Why do the Braves wear jockstraps? Totem poles!
Why is the monster green?: Envy from Yankee wins!
Where is a marine on the baseball field? On base!
Hey ump, It's against the law to make prank calls!
What has 18 legs and catches flies? A baseball team!
What runs around the field but never wins? The fence!
Where does a catcher sit for dinner? Behind the plate!
What team does Pee-Wee Herman always watch? The Expos!
What do you call a baseball with bugs on it? A fly ball!
Who's the most famous Los Angeles Dodger? O.J. Simpson!
What baseball team does Pee Wee Herman like? The Yankees!
Baseball is better than sex because pop ups are frequent.!
How do you brainwash a Rockies fan? Piss in his underwear!
Did you know that Tony Fernandez is Spanish for Bill Buckner?
What are the best kind of shoes for stealing bases? Sneakers!
Hey ump, diarrhea has more consistency than your strike zone!
Why did the baseball player go into the cave? To get his bat!
What does your average Red Sox fan get on an I.Q. test? Drool!
What does C.U.B.S. stand for? Completely Useless By September!
Where should a baseball player never wear red? In the bull pen!
Where did the baseball player wash his socks? In the bleachers!
What do you call an Americanized Asian ballplayer? Disoriented!
What does C.U.B.S. stand for? Can't Utilize Baseball Strategy!
"If I managed the Cubs, I'd be an alcoholic!"--Whitey Herzog
What cost Dwight Gooden $5,000, but had one calorie? Diet coke!
Why are baseball players so rich? Because they play on diamonds!
What did the Yankees fan use for birth control? His personality!
Why do all successful teams recruit salesmen? To make the pitch!
Did you hear about the queer Atlanta fan? He was a Brave sucker!
Why are baseball stadium seats so cold? Because FANS sit in them!
How to get suspended by MLB: Wearing your cup outside your pants!
Why did Dwight Gooden give up so many walks? He liked freebasing!
Why did the baseball team hire a cook? They needed a good batter!
Why is a cake like a baseball team? They both need a good batter!
What do you call a Yankees fan with no arms and legs? Trustworthy!
What's the free give-away on Ted Williams Day at Fenway? Ice Pops!
Why does it get hot after baseball game? Because all the fans leave!
Why does Stephen King go to Red Sox Games?: He likes horror stories!
Why did the chicken get sent to the dugout? For persistent fowl play!
Why can't the Red Sox count backward from 20?: They stop after 1918!
Where is the largest diamond in New York City kept? In Yankee Stadium!
What are O.J.'s favorite baseball teams? The Red Sox and the Dodgers!
Why is it so windy at Candlestick Park? Because of all the Giant Fans!
What does a baseball player go when he needs a new uniform? New Jersey!
Baseball is better than sex because it is legal to play professionally!
Baseball is better than sex because 30,000 people cheer when you score!
Which baseball team also takes care of sick animals? The New York Vets!
Baseball is better than sex because up to four people can score at once!
What do you get when you cross a tree with a baseball player? Babe Root!
How can you tell when George Steinbrenner is lying? His lips are moving!
How do you make a Yankee fan laugh on Monday? Tell him a joke on Friday!
I know a man who is a diamond cutter. He mows the lawn at Yankee Stadium!
Why were the players wearing armor at the ballpark? It was a knight game!
Why did the cop run across the baseball field? Someone stole second base!
How do you make a Red Sox fan laugh on Monday? Tell them a joke on Friday!
What does a bear on the pill and the World series have in common? No Cubs!
What happens to a baseball player who becomes blind? He becomes an umpire!
How can you tell if a Met fan just sent you a fax? There's a stamp on it!
Proposed rule change: All players must squat like catcher for entire game!
How to get suspended by MLB: Switching the Gatorade with the urine samples!
Why was the Orioles' stadium so hot after the game? All the fans had left!
Why is a baseball umpire like an angry chicken? They both have foul mouths!
Apparantly, it's no longer Manny being Manny. Now, it's Manny being Mary!
Confucius Say: Baseball very funny game - man with four balls, no can walk!
Why did the ballplayer bring rope to the game? He wanted to tie the game up!
Baseball is better than sex because after seven innings, you get to stretch!
I knew that he was on steroids. His I.Q. and neck size were the same number!
A Yankee fan and a Jet fan jump off of a bridge. Who falls first? Who cares?


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