Sex Jokes!What do you call an Asian man with one testicle? Whatwentwong.
What's the bad news about being a test tube baby? You know for sure that your dad is a wanker!
Why do women wear black underwear? They are mourning for the stiff they buried the night before!
How to tell if your Viagra is working: When you walk into a sauna, everyone stands and applauds.
Good: Your daughter has a good job. Bad: She is a whore. Very bad: She earns much more than you!
What's the best part of having a homeless girlfriend? You can drop her off where ever you want!
Did you hear about the new "Morning After" pill for men? It works by changing your blood type!
Did you hear about the male prostitute who got leprosy? He did okay until his business fell off!
What is the only game in which the more you lose, the more you have to show for it? Strip Poker!
Did you hear about the hummingbird that ate viagra? A: He went to chasing helicopters for mating
Why did the gay man take two aspirin with his Viagra? So sex wouldn't be such a pain in the ass!
Why did the woman cross the road? Never mind that, what the fuck is she doing out of the kitchen?
What do you have when a famous movie monster stuffs his penis into your beer mug? Frank in stein!
How are a lawyer and a prostitute different? The prostitute stops fucking you after you're dead!
Valentines Day poems: This feels so good, it feels so right, I just wish it wasn't $250 a night.
Do you know what happens when you take Viagra and Propecia together? It makes your hair stick up.
What do you call the sweat on your body after you've screwed your own sister? Relative humidity!
Pussy Versus Beer: Too much head makes you mad at the person giving you a beer. Advantage: Pussy.
What's the difference between your wife and your job? After five years your job will still suck!
How to tell if your Viagra is working: Compared to you, Pinocchio doesn't look like such a liar.
Why is being in the military like a blowjob? The closer you get to discharge, the better you feel.
Have you heard about the new line of Tampax with bells and tinsel? It's for the Christmas period!
How many honest, intelligent, caring men in the world does it take to do the dishes? Both of them!
How many men does it take to open a beer bottle? None It should be open when she brings it to you!
Murphy's Law in Sex: Sex takes up the least amount of time and causes the most amount of trouble!
Why did the gay man take two aspirin with his Viagra? So sex wouldn't be such a pain in the arse.
Have you heard about the new line of Tampax with bells and tinsel? It's for the Christmas period.
What if the Pilgrims had killed cats instead of turkeys? We'd be eating pussy every Thanksgiving!
Why did God invent yeast infection? So women know what it feels like to live with an annoying cunt!
Why is being in the military like a blow job? The closer you get to discharge, the better you feel!
What did one gay sperm say to the other gay sperm? I can't see a thing with all this shit in here!
How do you know when you honeymoon is over? When he no longer smiles as he scrapes the burnt toast!
How to tell if your Viagra is working: Sunbathing nude outside lying down: You look like a sundial.
What do a Rubix cube and a penis have in common? The longer you play with them, the harder they get!
What does tightrope walking and getting a blowjob from Grandma have in common? You don't look down!
They finally released the ingredients in Viagra: 2% Aspirin 2% Ibuprofen 1% Vitamin C 95% Fix-A-Flat
What do Disney World & Viagra have in common? They both make you wait an hour for a two minute ride!
Why does a bride smile when she's walking down the aisle? She knows she's given her last blow job!
How do you confuse a female archaeologist? Give her a used tampon and ask her what period it's from!
Pussy Versus Beer: Beers have commercials making fun of skunky ones. Pussy does not. Advantage: Draw.
Murphy's Law in Sex: Safe sex: Before the use of condoms, unroll completely and check for any holes!
What does the receptionist at the sperm clinic say to clients as they are leaving? Thanks for coming!
What do your parents' car and testicles have in common? Hit either one of them and you're grounded!
Who's the world's greatest athlete? The guy who finishes first and third in a masturbation contest!
What does a poof and an ambulance have in common? They both get loaded from the rear and go whoo-whoo!
What's the difference between a toad and a horny toad? One goes "ribbit" the other goes "rub it!"
Murphy's Law in Sex: When a man's wife learns to understand him, she usually stops listening to him!
What do a Turtle and a Pedophile have in common? They both want to get there before the 'hair' does!
What's the difference between a light bulb and a pregnant woman? Answer: You can unscrew a light bulb
What does do women and milk cartons have in common? You gotta open the flaps to get to the good stuff!
How are fat girls and mopeds alike? They are fun to ride but you don't want your friends to find out!
What do a toilet and a woman have in common? Without the hole in the middle they aren't good for shit!
What did the woman say to her swimming instructor? "Will I really drown if you take your finger out?"
What do a Rubik's Cube and a penis have in common? The longer you play with them, the harder they get!
Murphy's Law in Sex: If you must engage in unsafe sex, take time out before hand to hope for the best!
Why is a pap smear called a pap smear? Because women wouldn't do them if they were called cunt scrapes!
What's the difference between a woman and a fridge? A fridge doesn't fart when you pull your meat out!
Murphy's Law in Sex: Don't fall for lines like, "God protects his servants in the clergy from harm!"
How is being at a singles bar different than being at the circus? At the circus, the clowns don't talk!