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Other Jokes!

Don't make me use uppercase!
Drive defensively. Buy a tank.
Cover me. I'm changing lanes.
I brake for no apparent reason.
What did Delaware? Her New Jersey.
What's green and loud? A froghorn.
I'm not as think as you drunk I am.
Don't believe everything you think!
Every calendar's days are numbered.
What bird can lift the most? A crane.
Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.
What country makes you shiver? Chile.
Horn doesn't work. Watch for finger.
What do you give a sick pig? Oinkment!
Where does a Bee Pee? At the BP station.
Children's Books: 'Bi-Curious George'
What clothes does a house wear? Address.
The best vitamin for making friends: B1.
Bay of Bengal is in which state? Liquid.
Life is too short to dance with ugly men!
You'll never be the man your mother was!
Where there's a will, I want to be in it.
I'd give my right arm to be ambidextrous.
Children's Books: 'All Dogs Go to Hell'
Don't cook tonight -- starve a rat today!
Children's Books: 'You Were an Accident'
What bone will a dog never eat? A trombone.
What is a tree's favorite drink? Root beer.
What looks like half apple ? The other half.
What's a ghost's favourite food? I-Scream!
What did Tennessee? The same thing Arkansas.
Give me ambiguity or give me something else.
Children's Books: 'Some Kittens Can Fly!'
How do you make an egg laugh? Tell it a yolk.
What has 6 eyes but can't see? 3 blind mice.
What can you never eat for breakfast ? Dinner.
What has one horn and gives milk? A milk truck.
How does a pig go to hospital? In a hambulance.
I'm not just a gardener, I'm a Plant Manager.
What do bees do with their honey? They cell it.
What kind of cats love the water? Octo-Pussies.
Forget the Joneses. I keep up with the Simpsons.
With her marriage she got a new name and a dress.
What kind of cats like to go bowling? Alley cats.
What's round and bad-tempered? A vicious circle.
How do you make a hot dog stand? Steal its chair.
Did you eat an extra bowl of stupid this morning?
What kind of ties can't you wear? Railroad ties.
When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.
A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.
Who is the dogs favourite comedian? Growlcho Marx.
Where do ghosts go on holiday? The Isle of Fright!
I bet you have never seen a plumber bite his nails.
I have a drinking problem. I don't have any money!
Children's Books: Hey! Let's Go Ride Our Bikes!'


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