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One Liners!

"Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work." - Thomas Edison
Death is hereditary.
Does fuzzy logic tickle?
What's the speed of dark?
What's a hindu? Lays eggs.
Assassins do it from behind.
Keep honking. I'm reloading.
Woman's Dictionary: Yes = No
Do pilots take crash-courses?
Woman's Dictionary: No = Yes
Woman's Dictionary: Maybe = No
Did anyone see my lost carrier?
A closed mouth gathers no foot.
A dyslexic man walks into a bra.
I'd rather be rich than stupid.
82.6% of statistics are wrong...
Criminal Lawyer is a redundancy.
Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?
Plan to be spontaneous, tomorrow.
Sadly, all men are created equal!
A blonde walked into a bar. Ouch!
Honk if you love peace and quiet.
How does Teflon stick to the pan?
Honk if you want to see my finger.
He who laughs last thinks slowest.
Is there another word for synonym?
What's pink and fluffy Pink fluff
Can you be a closet claustrophobic?
What's another word for thesaurus?
What do they use to ship styrofoam?
What's green and loud? A froghorn.
Illiterate?... Write for FREE HELP!
Never miss a good chance to shut up.
Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
Montana: At least our cows are sane!
Steven Wright: I took a baby shower.
Steven Wright: This isn't all true.
I wonder if angels believe in ghosts.
Why did kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.
Is it possible to be totally partial?
Boycott shampoo! Demand the REAL poo!
Woman's Dictionary: We need = I want
Horn doesn't work. Watch for finger.
Oops. My brain just hit a bad sector.
What bird can lift the most? A crane.
Why is the word abbreviation so long?
What country makes you shiver? Chile.
Why is abbreviation such a long word?
Save the whales. Collect the whole set
Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
Why doesn't glue stick to the bottle?
A day without sunshine is like, night.
What do you call a smart ant? Elegant!
Chocolate: the OTHER major food group.
Suicidal twin kills sister by mistake!


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