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Halloween Jokes!

Phillip my bag with candy!
Jack O' Lantern: An Irish Pumpkin!
What do you call an angry monster? Sir!
Where does Dracula water ski? On Lake Erie
What does a vampire fear most? Tooth decay
What's a haunted chicken? A poultry-geist!
What was the werewolf's first name? Harry!
Where does Dracula water ski? On Lake Erie!
What do Rednecks do for Halloween? Pump Kin!
Who won the skeleton beauty contest? No body
Where does a ghost go on vacation? Mali-boo.
What do ghosts serve for dessert? Ice Scream
What is Transylvania? Dracula's terror tory
What do you use to erase a ghost? White-out!
What do little ghosts drink? Evaporated milk!
What's soft, moldy and flies? A spoiled bat!
What instrument do skeletons play? Trom-BONE.
What is a ghosts favorite sale? A white sale.
Who won the skeleton beauty contest? No body!
What do ghosts serve for dessert? Ice Scream!
What did the wicked chicken lay? Deviled eggs!
How do you make a witch itch? Take away her w!
Who has webbed feet and fangs? Count Quackula!
How do monsters count to 13? On their fingers!
What do witches put on their hair? Scare spray
Vampire Bat: What Dracula hits a baseball with!
Yo mama so ugly people go as her for Halloween!
What do witches put on their hair? Scare spray!
What kind of mistakes do spooks make? Boo boos!
Halloween Definitions: Skeleton: Any supermodel!
What do spooks call their Navy? The ghost guard!
What do you get when you drop a pumpkin? Squash!
Where do mummies go for a swim? To the Dead Sea!
What do ghouls order at McMonsters? Handburgers!
What is a vampires favorite holiday? Fangsgiving
What kind of makeup do ghosts wear? Mas scare a!
What kind of makeup do ghosts wear? Mas-scare-a.
What is a ghoul's favorite flavor? Lemon-slime!
What's a ghosts favorite desert? Boo-berry pie.
What do they teach in witching school? Spelling.
What is a vampire's favorite sport? Casketball!
Where do mummies go for a swim? To the dead sea!
Why did the ghost go into the bar? For the Boos.
What's a monster's favorite bean? A human bean.
Who does Dracula get letters from? His fang club.
What is a Mummie's favorite type of music? Wrap!
When does a ghost have breakfast? In the moaning.
Knock, Knock. Who's there? Phillip! Phillip who?
What is a Vampire's favorite sport? Casket Ball!
How does a girl vampire flirt? She bats her eyes!
What is Dracula's favorite holiday? Fangsgiving!
How does a girl vampire flirt? She bats her eyes.
What do you call a witch's garage? Broom closet.
What kind of dog does Dracula have? A Bloodhound!
What kind of horse does a ghost ride? Night mare!
What do cows do on Halloween night? Trick or teat!
What kind of protozoa likes Halloween? An amoeboo!
What is a vampire's favorite fruit? Neck tarines!
What do you call a fat Jack-O-Lantern? A plumpkin!
What key has legs and can't open doors? A Turkey!
What do birds give out on Halloween night? Tweets!
What is a Zombie's favorite dessert? Ladyfingers!
What is a witch's favorite TV show? The HeX Files
What is a vampire's favorite holiday? Fangsgiving!
What do the birds sing on Halloween? Twick or Tweet
What do you call a witch's garage? A broom closet.
What do Skeletons say before eating? Bone Appetite.
Why are Vampires Democrats? They want Gore in 2000.
Who is the witch's favorite singer? Robert Ghoulet!
When do werewolves go trick or treating? Howl-oween!
What kind of cereal do monsters eat? Ghost-Toasties!


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