Get Your American Idols Live Tickets Here!
Hollywood's Largest On-line Gift Store LightingCatalog.com - Shop for Your Home from Your








To submit a joke for inclusion on this website, please use the form below. Simply add your name or email address, the joke, and then hit the "SUBMIT" button! Your joke will be added to these pages! Enjoy the website!

Submit Jokes Here!

Confucius Jokes!

Confucius says..."The most interesting results happen only once."
Confucius says..."Better to sleep with chicken than to choke it."
Confucius says..."When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro."
Confucius says..."All warranties expire upon payment of invoice."
Confucius says..."It's better to retire too soon than too late."
Confucius says..."Beware of those wearing suspenders with belts."
Confucius says..."Woman pilot who fly upside down have crack up."
Confucius says..."Man who drop watch in toilet have shitty time."
Confucius says..."Never sleep with anyone crazier than yourself."
Confucius says..."The voters want fewer taxes and more spending."
Confucius says..."Do whatever your enemies do not want you to do."
Confucius says..."This "law" has been intentionally left blank."
Confucius says..."Man who eat many prunes get good run for money."
Confucius says..."You cannot kill time without injuring eternity."
Confucius says..."The one item you want is never the one on sale."
Confucius says..."He who eat ice cream in car is a Sundae Driver."
Confucius says..."People will believe anything if you whisper it."
Confucius says..."People do not change, they only become more so."
Confucius says..."Any task worth doing was worth doing yesterday."
Confucius says..."Genius is 1% inspiration, and 99% perspiration."
Confucius says..."Everything in moderation, including moderation."
Confucius says..."Only a mediocre person is always at their best."
Confucius says..."A man should be greater than some of his parts."
Confucius says..."Please do not steal, the IRS hates competition!"
Confucius says..."Don't drink and park - accidents cause people."
Confucius says..."He who fish in other man's well catches crabs."
Confucius says..."Needs are a function of what other people have."
Confucius says..."You never find an article until you replace it."
Confucius says..."The first myth of management is that it exists."
Confucius says..."Only a fool can reproduce another fool's work."
Confucius says..."All warranty clauses expires upon bill payment."
Confucius says..."If you put it off long enough, it might go away."
Confucius says..."Man who lay woman on ground gets piece on earth."
Confucius says..."The longer the title the less important the job."
Confucius says..."Man who walk middle of road get run over by bus."
Confucius says..."Free advice costs nothing until you act upon it."
Confucius says..."If you want pretty nurse, you got to be patient."
Confucius says..."When the going gets tough, the smart get sneaky."
Confucius says..."Squirrel who runs up woman's leg not find nuts."
Confucius says..."Incompetence knows no barriers of time or place."
Confucius says..."When all else fails, try the boss's suggestion."
Confucius says..."Panties not best thing on earth, but next to it."
Confucius says..."The one thing that money can not buy is poverty."
Confucius says..."Ignorance is bliss. No wonder I'm so depressed."
Confucius says..."There is no problem a good miracle can't solve."
Confucius says..."He who put face in punch bowl get punch in nose."
Confucius says..."Glory may be fleeting, but obscurity is forever."
Confucius says..."The workbench is always untidier than last time."
Confucius says..."Man who have hole in pocket feels cocky all day."
Confucius says..."Don't lend people money...it gives them amnesia."
Confucius says..."Proofreading is more effective after publication."
Confucius says..."It is much harder to find a job than to keep one."
Confucius says..."You can always find what you're not looking for."
Confucius says..."If at first you don't succeed, redefine success."
Confucius says..."Any landing you can walk away from is a good one."
Confucius says..."Wife not part of furniture, until screwed on bed."

Page 1.2.3.4.5.6.7.8.9.10.11.12.13.14.15.16.17.18.19.20

Try a free sample Romantic Compatibility Reading Try a free sample Women's Wisdom Reading!Free Sample Sexual Soul Mates Reading for twoFree Sample Karma Readingfree sample Romantic Compatibility Reading!Try a free sample Personal Astrology Profile!Try a free sample reading from Astrology.com!Two Week Love Forecast!Free Sample Maya Aztec! Free Sample Chinese Element AnalysisCalifornia Astrology AssociationRetrieve a loverCalifornia Astrology AssociationBrowse Our Astrological ReportsAstrology, Tarot and More!Try a Free Love ReadingTry a Free Psychic ReadingClick for a FREE Psychic Reading from Keen!Click for a FREE Psychic Reading from Keen!Click for a FREE Psychic Reading from Keen!Click for a FREE Psychic Reading from Keen!Free Pyschic ReadingClick for a FREE Psychic Reading from Keen!Click for a FREE Psychic Reading from Keen!Save up to 75% on Fine Jewelry & WatchesGet 20% Off on Health and Beauty Products from AmericaRx.comJewelry Sale at Goldemine.comAlways For Me Plus Size SwimwearName a starTry a free sample Romantic Compatibility Reading Try a free sample Women's Wisdom Reading!Free Sample Sexual Soul Mates Reading for twoWreckingBalm 234x60Free Sample Karma Readingfree sample Romantic Compatibility Reading!Shop skin care products at MakariFree Sample One Week Forecast from Astrology.comTry a free sample Personal Astrology Profile!Milagro Nail Care SystemTry a free sample reading from Astrology.com!Two Week Love Forecast!Ukraine womenFree Sample Maya Aztec! Free Sample Chinese Element AnalysisLatin womenShop skin care products at MakariShop skin care products at MakariShop skin care products at MakariShop skin care products at MakariShop skin care products at MakariBeauty Products and SuppliesSkinCareRx.com (Free Shipping)SkinBotanicaTigi Beauty productsCosmetics Gifts Set up to 30% OffGet Free Skincare Gift - COSME-DE.COMCosmeticmall.com468X60 large bannerEthnicBeautyLink to Bioelements Skin CareFragrancesCosmeticMall.comCosmeticMall.comUltra Hair AwaySkinBotanica.comShave No MoreOn SaleThousands Of FragrancesUHA Permanent Hair Removal SpraySkinStore.com234X60AnimationBannerTALIKA Eyelash Lipocils at USD28.00 Only   a href="http://www.anrdoezrs.net/click-3615965-10679544" target="_top">Get $20 off $125 at SkinStore.Use promo code GET20Skinstore Exclusive ATOPALM MLE Cream and T'Fivve


Send free text messages!
Please enter a cell phone number:

NO Dashes - Example: 7361829726

Please choose your recipient's provider: