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Confucius Jokes!

Confucius says..."Urgency varies inversely with importance."
Confucius says..."Man with athletic finger make broad jump."
Confucius says..."If the shoe fits, buy the other one, too."
Confucius says..."Assumption is the mother of all foul-ups."
Confucius says..."Couple on 7-day honeymoon make hole weak."
Confucius says..."Woman laid in tomb may soon become mummy."
Confucius says..."Nature always sides with the hidden flaw."
Confucius says..."Leftover nuts never match leftover bolts."
Confucius says..."Where you stand depends on where you sit."
Confucius says..."The chief cause of problems is solutions."
Confucius says..."A clean tie attracts the soup of the day."
Confucius says..."Any wire cut to length will be too short."
Confucius says..."He who stick head in oven get baked bean."
Confucius says..."Man who sit on hot stove will rise again."
Confucius says..."No two identical parts are exactly alike."
Confucius says..."Man who abuse his computer get bad bytes!"
Confucius says..."Never needlessly disturb a thing at rest."
Confucius says..."Hooker with bike pedal ass all over town."
Confucius says..."Man trapped in brothel get jerked around."
Confucius says..."It's always the wrong time of the month."
Confucius says..."No man's credit is as good as his money."
Confucius says..."Don't eat the snow where the huskies go!"
Confucius says..."The bigger they are, the harder they hit."
Confucius says..."Man who stands on toilet, is high on pot!"
Confucius says..."We'll worry about that when we get there."
Confucius says..."Speak softly and own a big, mean doberman."
Confucius says..." It's always the wrong time of the month."
Confucius says..."It is a poor workman who blames his tools."
Confucius says..."This "law" was inadvertently left blank."
Confucius says..."All great discoveries are made by mistake."
Confucius says..."Girl who sit on jockey's lap get hot tip."
Confucius says..."To err is human. To admit it is a blunder."
Confucius says..."Happiness is merely the remission of pain."
Confucius says..."Man who cut self while shaving, lose face."
Confucius says..."Even a stopped clock is right twice a day."
Confucius says..."If you cannot convince them, confuse them."
Confucius says..."If flattery gets you nowhere, try bribery."
Confucius says..."Every silver lining has a cloud around it."
Confucius says..."A penny saved is an economic breakthrough."
Confucius says..."Wise man never play leapfrog with unicorn."
Confucius says..."Assumption is the mother of all screw-ups."
Confucius says..."Tell the truth; there's less to remember."
Confucius says..."Pizza always burns the roof of your mouth."
Confucius says..."Boy who diddle little girl do diddly squat."
Confucius says..."Any line, however short, is still too long."
Confucius says..."In case of doubt, make it sound convincing."
Confucius says..."A fool and his money stabilize the economy."
Confucius says..."Do someone a favor and it becomes your job."
Confucius says..."It is the dead wood that holds up the tree."
Confucius says..."Fly who rest on toilet seat, get pissed off"
Confucius says..."crowded elevator smell different to midget."
Confucius says..."When the going gets tough, everyone leaves."
Confucius says..."Excuses are like bodies; everybody has one!"
Confucius says..."Man who drive like hell bound to get there."
Confucius says..."OK for shit to happen . . . will decompose."
Confucius says..."Bad news drives good news out of the media."

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