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Confucius Jokes!

Confucius says..."If you understand it, it is obsolete."
Confucius says..."Most well-trodden paths lead nowhere."
Confucius says..."You won't skid if you stay in a rut."
Confucius says..."The hidden flaw never remains hidden."
Confucius says..."Whoever has the gold makes the rules."
Confucius says..."man trapped in pantry have ass in jam."
Confucius says..."Junk mail arrives the day it was sent."
Confucius says..."You never want the one you can afford."
Confucius says..."6.9, another thing ruined by a period."
Confucius says..."Man who lay girl on hill not on level."
Confucius says..."Man who run in front of car get tired."
Confucius says..."It's Good Enough For Government Work."
Confucius says..."A fool and his money are soon elected."
Confucius says..."Indifference is the only sure defense."
Confucius says..."Man trapped in pantry have ass in jam."
Confucius says..."If you do not make dust, you eat dust."
Confucius says..."Two monologues do not make a dialogue."
Confucius says..."Never tell them what you wouldn't do."
Confucius says..."He who let woman on top is f***ing up."
Confucius says..."Man who sells Kotex, is crack salesman"
Confucius says..."Progress is made on alternate Fridays."
Confucius says..."Man who sleep in bed of nails is holy."
Confucius says..."Incompetence is a double-edged banana."
Confucius says..."Nothing is ever as simple as it seems."
Confucius says..."Girl who marry Richard must kiss Dick."
Confucius says..."The only real errors are human errors."
Confucius says..."Man who masturbate only screwing self."
Confucius says..."Man who have last laugh, not get joke."
Confucius says..."If at first you don't succeed, cheat!"
Confucius says..."No matter where you go, there you are."
Confucius says..."man who run in front of car get tired."
Confucius says..."Never eat prunes when you are famished."
Confucius says..."Sometimes too much drink is not enough."
Confucius says..."Better to be pissed off than pissed on."
Confucius says..."Anything in parentheses can be ignored."
Confucius says..."You can observe a lot just by watching."
Confucius says..."You can't guard against the arbitrary."
Confucius says..."If Murphy's Law can go wrong, it will."
Confucius says..."A constipated man does not give a crap."
Confucius says..."Never put all your eggs in your pocket."
Confucius says..."The best things in life aren't things."
Confucius says..."Woman who wear G-string, high on crack."
Confucius says..."A bird in hand makes hard to blow nose."
Confucius says..."Man who put cock on stove have hot rod."
Confucius says..."He who eat ice cream is a Sundae Driver."
Confucius says..."It just doesn't get any Beta than this."
Confucius says..."A theory is better than its explanation."
Confucius says..."If it is good, they will stop making it."
Confucius says..."Man who snort coke, get bubbles up nose."
Confucius says..."He who shouts the loudest has the floor."
Confucius says..."Work is the curse of the drinking class."
Confucius says..."No man is lonely while eating spaghetti."
Confucius says..."The obvious answer is always overlooked."
Confucius says..."Girl who marry detective must kiss dick."
Confucius says..."If a string has one end, it has another."
Confucius says..."Never replicate a successful experiment."

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