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Confucius Jokes!

Confucius says..."You can't get here from there."
Confucius says..."House without toilet is uncanny."
Confucius says..."Nothing can be done in one trip."
Confucius says..."Everybody's gotta be someplace."
Confucius says..."Things get worse under pressure."
Confucius says...Most projects require three hands."
Confucius says..."Cleanliness is next to impossible"
Confucius says..."Man with one chopstick go hungry."
Confucius says..."A good scapegoat is hard to find."
Confucius says..."Great minds run in great circles."
Confucius says..."A penny saved has not been spent."
Confucius says..."If you cannot fix it, feature it."
Confucius says..."Man piss in wind, wind piss back."
Confucius says..."The early worm deserves the bird."
Confucius says..."Most projects require three hands."
Confucius says..."Man who smoke pot choke on handle."
Confucius says..."Don't make your doctor your heir."
Confucius says..."Exceptions always outnumber rules."
Confucius says..."Two wrongs are only the beginning."
Confucius says..."To prevent hangover, stay drunk.""
Confucius says..."There is an exception to all laws."
Confucius says..."If anything can go wrong, it will."
Confucius says..."A friend in need is a pest indeed."
Confucius says..."Nothing ever comes out as planned."
Confucius says..."It works better if you plug it in."
Confucius says..."Never invest in anything that eats."
Confucius says..."If it happens, it must be possible."
Confucius says..."Never play leapfrog with a unicorn."
Confucius says..."Every solution breeds new problems."
Confucius says..."If you want to get along, go along."
Confucius says..."He who hesitates is probably right."
Confucius says..."It take square ass to shit a brick."
Confucius says..."Never kick a man unless he's down."
Confucius says..."The other line always moves faster."
Confucius says..."A Smith and Wesson beats four aces."
Confucius says..."He who plays with self, pulls boner."
Confucius says..."It takes square ass to shit a brick."
Confucius says..."Nostalgia isn't what it used to be."
Confucius says..."The judge's jokes are always funny."
Confucius says..."Man who stand on toilet high on pot."
Confucius says..."Nobody notices when things go right."
Confucius says..."Hockey player on ice have big stick."
Confucius says..."Variables won't, constants aren't."
Confucius says..."Trust everybody...then cut the cards."
Confucius says..."All true wisdom is found on T-shirts."
Confucius says..."Those who live closest arrive latest."
Confucius says..."When your opponent is down, kick him."
Confucius says..."If there isn't a law, there will be."
Confucius says..."Two heads are more numerous than one."
Confucius says..."man who run behind car get exhausted."
Confucius says..."Only them as knows their own...knows."
Confucius says..."Man who run behind car get exhausted."
Confucius says..."Things go right so they can go wrnog."
Confucius says..."Everybody is somebody else's weirdo."
Confucius says..."Beware the wrath of a patient person."
Confucius says..."Indecision is the key to flexibility."
Confucius says..."Honeymooning campers have one intent!"

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