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Celebrity Jokes!

What did the man on the beach say to Michael Jackson? Get out of my sun!
Did you hear about Michael Jackson's latest record? "Feel the World!"
How is Michael Jackson dealing with his problems? He's holding his own!
What did the male sunbather shout at Michael Jackson? Get out of my son!
When will there be a woman in the White House? When Hillary leaves town!
What did Michael Jackson do when his hair caught on fire? He "Beat-it!"
When Michael Jackson throws a party, what do his guests drive? Tricycles!
Did you hear Michael Jackson is moving to PA... Guess which town? Dubois!
What psychological problem does Michael still suffer from? Anal retention!
What did Saddam say when he came out of his hole? Did I beat David Blaine?
What happens when Michael talks about sex? It's all very tongue in cheek!
Why did Michael Jackson get food poisoning? He ate a nine year old wiener!
What's the new game there playing in the White House? Swallow the Leader!
What do Michael's rear and an LA jail have in common? Both hold the juice.
What's black, has a strong odor, and comes in small cans? Michael Jackson!
What's Michael Jackson's favorite Canadian TV show? The Kids in the Hall!
What is Michael Jackson's favorite gospel song? "And then he touched me"
What do Michael's rear and an LA jail have in common? Both hold the juice!
What did Michael Jackson yell when he fell off the boat? Throw me the bouy!
What repulsive thing can be found in a baby diaper? Michael Jackson's hand!
Why does Michael Jackson relate so well to children? He knows how they feel!
Who was the unmanned recon airplane the Predator named for? Michael Jackson!
Why doesn't Michael sleep with boys anymore? He's tired of all the cracks!
What is Michael Jackson's favorite gospel song? "And Then He Touched Me!"
What did Michael Jackson yell when he fell off the boat? Throw me the bouy!!
What will it take to bring the Kennedy family back together? One more mishap!
What do Michael Jackson and Rum have in common? They both come in small tots!
How do you find out Michael Jackson's sperm count? Look it up in Webster's!
How will everyone remember Bill Clinton in history? The President after Bush!
What's the difference between Hillary and Bill? Hillary doesn't get caught!
What do Michael Jackson and Rum have in common? They both come in small tots.
How do we know Michael Jackson is guilty? Several children have fingered him!
Why did Pepsi fire Michael Jackson? Because he was caught sucking on a Squirt!
Where does Michael Jackson write his songs for the kids? In his tanning salon!
What is the worst stain on a small boy's underwear? Michael Jackson's rouge!
How do Helen Keller's parents punish her? By putting a plunger in the toilet!
Why does Helen Keller masturbate with one hand? So she can moan with the other!
Why is Michael Jackson opening a sperm bank? He always has a shitload of semen.
What do Michael Jackson and an Xbox have in common? Both get turned on by kids!
Why is Michael Jackson opening a sperm bank? He always has a shitload of semen!
Why was Michael Jackson spotted at K-Mart? He heard boys' pants were half-off!
What do Ethiopians and Yoko Ono have in common? They both live off dead Beatles!
What do Michael Jackson and Malt Whiskey have in common? They both come in tots!
What do Ethiopians and Yoko Ono have in common? They both live off dead Beatles.
What did Helen Keller do when she fell down the well? She screamed her hands off!
What does Hillary do after she shaves her pussy every morning? Sends him to work!
100 Women Surveyed, "Would you have sex with Bill Clinton?" 80% said not again!
What do Michael Jackson and an Xbox have in common? Both get turned on by kids!!!
Do you know why Monica got a stain on her dress? She didn't keep her mouth shut!
What's green and smells like Monica Lewinsky? The pool table in the oval office!
Knock, knock. Who's there? Little Boy Blue. Little Boy Blue who? Michael Jackson!
Why does Michael Jackson like twenty six year olds? Cause there's twenty of them!
What does Ellen DeGeneris cook for dinner every night? She doesn't, she eats out!
Why did Michael Jackson go to K Mart? He heard they had small boys pants half off.
Why is Michael Jackson addicted to pain killers? To stop him from going Ow! Ow! Ow!
Why isn't all the controversy bothering Michael? He doesn't mind reaching bottom!
Why was Michael Jackson kicked out of the Boy Scouts? He was up to two packs a day.
What is the worst thing about making love to Michael Jackson? When the crib breaks!
What did Michael Jackson say after he was interrupted during sex? "Shit happens!"

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