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Thanksgiving Jokes!

What key has legs and can't open doors? A turkey
What kind of music did the Pilgrims like? Plymouth Rock!
What smells the best at a Thanksgiving dinner? Your nose!
Where did the first corn come from? The stalk brought it!
Why did the turkey sit on the tomahawk? To try to hatchet!
What's the key to a great Thanksgiving dinner? The turKEY!
What's the best thing to put into pumpkin pie? Your teeth!
Why didn't the turkey eat dessert? He was already stuffed!
How do you send a turkey through the mail? Bird class mail!
What always comes at the end of Thanksgiving? The letter G!
Which side of the turkey has the most feathers? The outside!
What sound does a space turkey make? Hubble, Hubble, Hubble!
If your papa could see you now, he'd turn over in his gravy!
What's the best dance to do on Thanksgiving? The turkey trot!
Have you finished off the first one? Yeah! Eaten it too? Yeah!
When the Pilgrims landed, where did they stand? On their feet!
What did the turkeys sing on Thanksgiving Day? God save the kin!
When does Christmas come before Thanksgiving? In the dictionary!
What did the turkeys sing on Thanksgiving Day? God save the kin.
Why did the turkey cross the road? It was the chicken's day off!
What did the turkey say before it was roasted? Boy! I'm stuffed!
What are the feathers on a turkey's wings called? Turkey feathers!
Why did the Indian chief wear so many feathers? To keep his wigwam!
How do you keep a turkey in suspense? I'll let you know next week!
What's blue and covered with feathers? A turkey holding its breath!
Why did the police arrest the turkey? They suspected it of fowl play!
What did the turkey say to the turkey hunter? "Quack, quack, quack!"
How did the Mayflower show that it liked America? It hugged the shore!
What vegetables would you like with your Thanksgiving dinner? Beets me!
If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring? Pilgrims!
Why did they let the turkey join the band? Because he had the drumsticks!
Why can't you take a turkey to Church? Because they use such fowl language!
Who is not hungry at Thanksgiving? The turkey, because he's already stuffed!
Why did the turkey play drums in his band? Because he already had drumsticks!
What's the best way to stuff a turkey? Serve him lots of pizza and ice cream!
If the Pilgrims were alive today what would they be most famous for? Their age!
If the Pilgrims were alive today, what would they be most famous for? Their AGE!
What happened to the Pilgrim who was shot at by an Indian? He had an arrow escape!
What happened when the turkey got into a fight? He got the stuffing knocked out of him!
What happened to the other one? The other turkey is now reading our conversation, boss!
Knock Knock, Who's there? Waddle. Waddle who? Waddle I do if you don't open the door?
What do you get when you cross a turkey with an octopus? Enough drumsticks for Thanksgiving!
Why do turkeys always go, "gobble, gobble"? Because they never learned good table manners!
When did the Pilgrims first say, "God bless America?" When they first heard America sneeze!
Can a turkey jump higher than the Empire State Building? Yes - a building can't jump at all!
How can you make a turkey float? You need 2 scoops of ice cream, some root beer, and a turkey!
Should you have your whole family for Thanksgiving dinner? No, you should just have the turkey!
What did the turkey say to the man who tried to shoot it? Liberty, Equality and Bad aim for all!
Why did the Pilgrims eat turkey at Thanksgiving? Because they couldn't fit the moose in the oven!
If a man wants to eat a turkey on Thanksgiving, what does a turkey want? It simply wants to run away!
Why did Johnny get such low grades after Thanksgiving? Because everything is marked down after the holidays!
What did the mama turkey say to her naughty son? If your papa could see you now, he'd turn over in his gravy!
To liven up Thanksgiving dinner...Bring a date that only talks about the tragic and abusive conditions known to exist at turkey farms.
What will a turkey with a dramatic bent of mind say to another turkey on Thanksgiving morning? To be or not to be roasted, that is the question!
Asked to write a composition entitled, "What I'm thankful for on Thanksgiving," little Timothy wrote, "I am thankful that I'm not a turkey."

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