Technology Jokes!The name is Baud, James Baud.
SENILE.COM found. Out Of Memory.
Cannot find REALITY.SYS. Universe halted.
Buy a Pentium IV so you can reboot faster.
AscII a stupid question, get a stupid ANSI!
Hex dump: Where witches leave their used curses.
Selected PC Phrases: Melanin-impoverished: white.
Bad command. Bad, bad, command! Sit! Bark! Stay!
Selected PC Phrases: Chronologically gifted: old.
Bug? That's not a bug, that's a random feature!
Computers make very fast, very accurate mistakes.
Bad command or file name! Go stand in the corner.
BREAKFAST.COM Halted. Cereal Port Not Responding.
Selected PC Phrases: Follicularly challenged: bald.
Selected PC Phrases: Cerebrally challenged: stupid.
Ever noticed how fast Windows runs? Neither did I.
Double your HD space, delete your operating system!
Selected PC Phrases: Metabolically challenged: dead.
Selected PC Phrases: Aesthetically challenged: ugly.
Selected PC Phrases: Economically marginalized: poor.
Selected PC Phrases: Person of substance: fat person.
CONGRESS.SYS Corrupted: Reboot Washington D.C? (y/n)
If at first you don't succeed, call it a version 1.0.
Selected PC Phrases: Street activity index: crime rate.
Selected PC Phrases: Geological correction: earthquake.
Selected PC Phrases: Motivationally dispossessed: lazy.
Selected PC Phrases: Residentially challenged: homeless.
Is reading in the bathroom considered as multi-tasking?
As a computer, I find your faith in technology amusing.
Computers are not intelligent. They only think they are.
The magic of Windows: Turns a Pentium into an XT, instantly.
Why doesn't DOS ever say "EXCELLENT command or filename?"
My software never has bugs. It just develops random features.
Reasons E-Mail is Better than Sex: Or give you nasty diseases.
Selected PC Phrases: Vehicle-appearance specialist: car washer
COFFEE.EXE Missing - Insert Cup and Press Any Key to continue.
Customer: "Can you copy the Internet for me on this diskette?"
Selected PC Phrases: Client of the correctional system: prisoner.
The Definition of an Upgrade: Take old bugs out, put new ones in.
Reasons E-Mail is Better than Sex: E-mail can't get you pregnant.
The computer programmer's national anthem is "AAAAAARRRRGGGGHHH!"
Are you a prostitute or a software consultant? You work very odd hours.
11th commandment: Desire not your neighbor's Pentium II or his 16xCD-R.
What is the astronaut's favorite place on the computer? A:) The space bar.
Defination of a computer: A device designed to speed up and automate errors.
Are you a prostitute or a software consultant? You have no job satisfaction.
Reasons E-Mail is Better than Sex: E-mails last as long as you want them to.
Selected PC Phrases: Fiscally challenged institution: bankrupt savings and loan.
Are you a prostitute or a software consultant? It's difficult to have a family.
Are you a prostitute or a software consultant? You are not proud of what you do.
Signs You Have Had Too Much Of The 90s: Your Stockbroker's name ends in ".com"
Reasons E-Mail is Better than Sex: Big e-mails don't hurt; little ones can satisfy.