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A young 7 year boy goes up to his father and asks him, "Dad, what is the difference between potentially & realistically?" He thought for a moment, then answered, "Go ask your mother if she would sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars. Then ask your sister if she would sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars, and then ask your brother if he'd sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars. Come back and tell me what you learn from that." So the boy went to his mother and asked, "Would you sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars?" The mother replied, "Of course I would! We could really use that money to fix up the house and send you kids to a great university!" The boy then went to his sister and asked,"Would you sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars?" The girl replied,"Oh my Gawd! I LOVE Brad Pitt I would sleep with him in a heartbeat, are you nuts?" The boy then went to his brother and asked,"Would you sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars?" "Of course," the brother replied. "Do you know what a million bucks would buy?" The boy pondered the answers for a few days and then went back to his dad. His father asked him, "Did you find out the difference between potentially and realistically?" The boy replied, "Yes, potentially, you and I are sitting on three million dollars...but realistically, we're living with two hookers and a queer."
A woman's husband was cremated when he passed away. She poured him out on the patio table. Then, while tracing her fingers in the ashes, she started talking to him. "You know that dishwasher you promised me? I bought it with the insurance money! Remember that car you promised me? Well, I bought it with the insurance money! Remember that diamond ring you promised me? Bought it too, insurance money!" Finally, she said, "Remember that blow job I promised you? Here it comes........" ~
I just got ripped off on eBay. I ordered a penis enlarger and they sent me a magnifying glass! Those dirty dogs!
My wife has a medical problem. Her body keeps rejecting the organ I keep trying to donate to her.
What's female Viagra? Jewelery!
Where do fags park? In the rear!
How they have sex: Divers do it deeper!
How they have sex: Actors do it on cue!
How they have sex: Tailors make it fit!
How they have sex: Postmen come slower!
How they have sex: Roofers do it on top!
How they have sex: Inventors find a way!
How they have sex: Nurses call the shots!
How they have sex: Cops have bigger guns!
How they have sex: Dietitians eat better!
How they have sex: Reporters do it daily!
How they have sex: Bakers knead it daily!
What do you call a female clown? A Clunt!
How they have sex: Clown do it for laughs!
How they have sex: Recyclers use it again!
Murphy's Law in Sex: Sex has no calories!
How they have sex: Writers have novel ways!
How they have sex: Bricklayers lay all day!
How they have sex: Campers do it in a tent!
How they have sex: Welders have hotter rods!
How they have sex: Librarians do it quietly!
How they have sex: Jewelers mount real gems!
How they have sex: Scientists discovered it!
How they have sex: Students use their heads!
How they have sex: Joggers do it on the run!
How they have sex: Farmers spread it around!
How they have sex: Policemen like big busts!
How they have sex: C'Bers do it on the air!
How they have sex: Sailors like to be blown!
What is better than a cold Bud? A warm bush!
How they have sex: Pilots keep it up longer!
How they have sex: Movie stars do it on film!
Why do horny women order at Subway? Footlongs
How they have sex: Hunters do it with a bang!
How they have sex: Golfers do it in 18 holes!
How they have sex: Handymen like good screws!
How they have sex: Managers supervise others!
How they have sex: Butchers have better meat!
How they have sex: Archeologists like it old!
How they have sex: Miners sink deeper shafts!
Murphy's Law in Sex: Virginity can be cured!
How they have sex: Bowlers have bigger balls!
How they have sex: Repairmen can fix anything!
How they have sex: Drummers do it in 4/4 time!
How they have sex: Deadheads do it with Jerry!
How they have sex: Firemen are always in heat!
How they have sex: Artists are exhibitionists!
How they have sex: Ministers do it on Sundays!
How they have sex: Beer drinkers get more head!
How they have sex: Taxidermists mount anything!
How they have sex: Typists do it in triplicate!
How they have sex: Gardners have 50 foot hoses!
How is a woman like a road? Both have manholes!
What do you find in a clean nose? Fingerprints!
Why did the Avon lady walk funny? Her lipstick!
How they have sex: Musicians do it with rhythm!
How they have sex: Landscapers plant it deeper!
How they have sex: Band members play all night!
Why do horny women order at Subway? Foot longs!
How they have sex: Runners get into more pants!
How they have sex: Architects have great plans!
How they have sex: Doctors do it with patience!
How they have sex: Truckers carry bigger loads!
How they have sex: Dentist do it in your mouth!
How they have sex: Four-wheelers eat more bush!
How they have sex: Carpenters hammer it harder!
How they have sex: Chemists like to experiment!
Murphy's Law in Sex: Nothing improves with age!

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