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Redneck Jokes!

Bobby died in a fire and his body was burned pretty badly. The morgue needed someone to identify the body, so they sent for his two Redneck friends, Cooter and Gomer. The three men had always done everything together. Cooter arrived first, and when the mortician pulled back the sheet, Cooter said, "Yup, his face is burned up pretty bad. You better roll him over." The mortician rolled him over and Cooter said, "Nope, ain't Bobby." The mortician thought this was rather strange. So he brought Gomer in to confirm the identity of the body. Gomer looked at the body and said, "Yup, he's pretty well burnt up. Roll him over." The mortician rolled him over and Gomer said, "No, it ain't Bobby." The mortician asked, "How can you tell?" Gomer said, "Well, Bobby had two assholes." "He had two assholes?" asked the mortician. "Yup, we never seen 'em, but everybody used to say, 'There's Bobby with them two assholes'..."
If your idea of a "loaded dishwasher" is getting your wife drunk...yep, you're a redneck.
What do Rednecks call duct tape? Chrome!
Redneck Medical Terms: Enema - Not a friend!
You might be a Redneck if your dog goes "oink!"
Redneck Medical Terms: Coma - A punctuation mark!
You might be a Redneck if your masseuse uses lard!
You might be a Redneck if you haul more than U-Haul!
You might be a Redneck if you own a homemade fur coat!
You might be a Redneck if you know how to milk a goat.
You might be a Redneck if you use a NASCAR credit card!
Redneck Medical Terms: Pelvis - Second cousin to Elvis!
You might be a Redneck if: you shop-lift from Goodwill!
If Bill Gates Was a Redneck: Microsoft CEO: Bubba Gates
You might be a Redneck if you have a rag for a gas cap!
You might be a Redneck if the ASPCA raids your kitchen!
You might be a Redneck if you prefer car keys to Q-tips!
You might be a Redneck if your family tree has no forks.
You might be a Redneck if you think harass is two words.
You might be a Redneck if you have an Elvis Jell-o mold!
You might be a Redneck if you've ever used lard in bed.
Redneck Medical Terms: Medical Staff - A Doctor's cane!
You might be a Redneck if you think the Bud Bowl is real.
You might be a Redneck if you've ever financed a tattoo.
You might be a Redneck if you've ever bought a used cap!
You might be a Redneck if your screen door has no screen!
Things You'd Never Hear a Redneck Say: Wrasslin's fake.
What do they call "Hee Haw" in Arkansas? A documentary.
You might be a Redneck if you've ever financed a tattoo!
You Might Be a Redneck if you've been too drunk to fish.
How To Pick Up A Chick In Arkansas: Hey Baby! Nice tooth.
You might be a Redneck if you've been too drunk to fish.
You might be a Redneck if your family tree does not fork!
You might be a Redneck if your family tree doesn't fork.
Things You'd Never Hear A Redneck say: Wrasslin's fake.
You might be a Redneck if you mow your lawn and find a car!
Things You'd Never Hear A Redneck say: We're vegetarians.
You might be a Redneck if you've never paid for a haircut!
You might be a Redneck if fewer than half of your cars run!
Things You'd Never Hear a Redneck Say: We're vegetarians.
You might be a Redneck if fewer than half of your cars run.
You might be a Redneck if you mow your lawn and find a car.
You might be a Redneck if bikers back down from your momma!
You Might Be A Redneck If...You've ever bought a used cap.
You might be a Redneck if your age is higher than your I.Q.
You might be a Redneck if you clean your nails with a stick!
You might be a Redneck if your brother-in-law is your uncle.
You might be a Redneck if your honeymoon was in Little Rock.
You might be a Redneck if your brother-in-law is your uncle!
You might be a Redneck if your wife's hairdo attracts bees!
You Might Be A Redneck If...Winn-Dixie catered your wedding.
You might be a Redneck if: your toilet is a 5 gallon bucket!
You might be a Redneck if birds are attracted to your beard!
You might be a Redneck if your wife and ex-wife are sisters.
You might be a Redneck if you own at least 20 baseball hats!
You might be a Redneck if you cut your grass and find a car.
You might be a Redneck if you've ever tried to drown a fish.

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