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Puerto Rican Jokes!

What do you call a Puerto Rican midget? A speck.
How did God make Puerto Ricans? He sandblasted Blacks.
How do save a drowning Puerto Rican? Throw him an anchor!
What do you call a Puerto Rican with no arms? Trustworthy!
Who sponsors Puerto Rican race car drivers? Spic and Span!
What do you call a building full of Puerto Ricans? A jail!
You know you're Puerto Rican if you have a delinquent cousin!
You know you're Puerto Rican if you call all sneakers "tenis!"
What name does a Hispanic fireman give his second son? Hose "B"
You know you're Puerto Rican if you treat fevers with "alcoholado!"
You know you're Puerto Rican if you have a perpetually drunk neighbor1
You know you're Puerto Rican when you live in a one bedroom apartment!
What do you call a gang of Puerto Ricans running down a hill? Jailbreak!
You know you're Puerto Rican if your sofa or rug is covered in plastic!
You know you're Puerto Rican if you have at least 30 cousins. At least!
You know you're Puerto Rican if someone in you family is name "Maria!"
You know you're Puerto Rican if you've eaten "Esporsoda" with butter!
What did they name the offspring of a blonde and a Puerto Rican? Retardo.
You know you're Puerto Rican if you know someone who drives a "Cheby!"
You know you're Puerto Rican if all tissue papers are called "Klinex!"
You know you're Puerto Rican if one of your aunts weighs over 300 pounds!
You know you're Puerto Rican if you know at least four of your last names!
You know you're Puerto Rican if you need a cup of coffee after every meal!
Why do blacks put their garbage in clear bags? So Puerto Ricans window shop!
How do you get 12 Puerto Ricans into a Volkswagon? Throw in a welfare check!
You know you're Puerto Rican if you think Christina can beat Oprah any day!
You know you're Puerto Rican if all brands of diapers are called "Pampel!"
You know you're Puerto Rican if all breakfast cereals are called "Con Fley!"
How do you get 12 Puerto Ricans out of a Volkswagon? Throw in a job application!
You know you're Puerto Rican if almost everyone you know is nicknamed "Mira!"
You know you're Puerto Rican if you have a picture of "Cristo" in your house!
Why do Puerto Rican women wear pointy shoes? To kill the roaches in the corners.
Why do Puerto Rican eat beans every day? So they can take a bubble bath at night.
You know you're Puerto Rican if you scrunch up your nose to ask a silent "que ?"
How do you solve the Puerto Rican problem? Tell the Blacks they taste like chicken.
You know you're Puerto Rican if you've ever used your lips to point something out!
Why do spics drive low-riders? So they can cruise and pick lettuce at the same time!
You know you're Puerto Rican if you think platanos are a whole separate food group!
You know you're Puerto Rican if you know "Don Francisco" from "Sabado Gigante!"
You know you're Puerto Rican if you start clapping when your plane hits the runway!
You know you're Puerto Rican if you have actually met several people named "Jesus!"
You know you're Puerto Rican if you have a great uncle that had more than three wives!
You know you're Puerto Rican if you put a big Puerto Rican flag on your car come June!
Why aren't there any Puerto Ricans on Star Trek? They won't work in the future either!
What do you say to a Puerto Rican in a three-piece suit? Will the defendant please rise.
You know you're Puerto Rican if you remember Ricky Martin as the little one from Menudo!
You know you're Puerto Rican if you've put a penny on your forehead to stop a nosebleed!
You know you're Puerto Rican if you can dance to merengue, cumbia, or salsa without music!
What do you get when you cross a Puerto Rican and a Chinaman? A car thief who can't drive!
What's the difference between a Puerto Rican and a pothole? You swerve to avoid the pothole.
Do you know how to starve a Puerto Rican to death? Hide his food stamps under his work shoes!
You know you're Puerto Rican if you think your name begins like this: "Ave Maria Purisima!"
You know you're Puerto Rican if you ever wished El Chapulin Colorado would come and save you!
You know you're Puerto Rican if you know how to drive an "estandar" or "estic chift" car!
Why are there no Puerto Rican doctors? Because you can't write prescriptions with spray paint!

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