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Polish Jokes!

Bobby died in a fire and his body was burned pretty badly. The morgue needed someone to identify the body, so they sent for his two Polish friends, Cooter and Gomer. The three men had always done everything together. Cooter arrived first, and when the mortician pulled back the sheet, Cooter said, "Yup, his face is burned up pretty bad. You better roll him over." The mortician rolled him over and Cooter said, "Nope, ain't Bobby." The mortician thought this was rather strange. So he brought Gomer in to confirm the identity of the body. Gomer looked at the body and said, "Yup, he's pretty well burnt up. Roll him over." The mortician rolled him over and Gomer said, "No, it ain't Bobby." The mortician asked, "How can you tell?" Gomer said, "Well, Bobby had two assholes." "He had two assholes?" asked the mortician. "Yup, we never seen 'em, but everybody used to say, 'There's Bobby with them two assholes'..."
Are you Polish? Okay, I'll talk slower.
How do you keep a Polock in suspense? A:
How do Polish people spell farm? E-I-E-I-O
Polish kamikaze flew 48 successful missions!
Did you hear about the Polish fish? It drowned!
How does a Polish Firing Squad stand? In a circle!
How do Polocks form a car pool? They meet at work!
What's the most useless thing on a woman? A Polock!
How do you sink a Polish battleship? Put it in water!
How do you ruin a Polish party? Flush the punch bowl!
Polish loan shark lends out all his money, skips town!
Have you seen the new Polish jigsaw puzzle? One piece.
How do you break a Pole's finger? Punch him on the nose!
What does a Polock use to clean salad bowls? A bowl brush!
Why did the Polock go to sea? Somebody flushed the bathtub!
Why don't polish women use vibrators? It chips their teeth!
Have you heard about the Polish cocktail? Perrier and water!
Why do Polish dogs have flat noses? From chasing parked cars!
How do you get a one-armed Polock out of a tree? Wave to him!
Why are there no ice cubes in Poland? They forgot the recipe!
Sign on a toilet seat protector dispenser: "Polish T-shirts!"
Who wears a dirty white robe and rides a pig? Lawrence of Poland!
What's the biggest problem of Polish dump operators? Shoplifting!
What's the most popular Polish fast-food restaurant? Booger King!
How do you stop a Polish army on horseback? Turn off the carousel!
Polish wedding, the groom stands by the reset button (bowling joke)!
How do you get a Polock out of the bath tub? Throw in a bar of soap!
Why did the Polock put ice in his condom? To keep the swelling down!
What happened to the Polish National Library? Someone stole the book!
Why don't they let Polocks swim in Lake Michigan? They leave a ring!
New Polish navy has glass bottom boats, to see to the old Polish navy!
Why do Polish names end in 'ski'? Because they can't spell toboggan!
What does a Polish girl do after she sucks cock? Spits out the feathers!
Why does a Polock carry a little turd in his pocket? For identification!
What's the motto of the Polish Solidarity Union? Every man for himself!
A Polish man bought a zebra for a pet. What does he call the zebra? Spot!
What does it say on the bottom of Polish Coke bottles? "Open other end!"
What's delaying the Polish space program? Development of a working match!
How can you tell a Polish neighborhood? By the toilet paper hung out to dry!
Did you hear about the new automatic Polish parachutes? They open on impact!
Why do Polish airplanes fly so low? So the pilots can read the street signs!
Heard about the Polish hockey team? They all drowned during spring training!
A Polock stepped in a cow pie and started crying. He thought he was melting!
A Polish guy locked his keys in the car. It took an hour to get his wife out.
Did you hear about the Polock who married an Amish woman? He drove her buggy!
What happens when a Polock doesn't pay his garbage bill? They stop delivering!
Did you hear about the latest Polish invention? It's a solar-powered flashlight!
Why couldn't the Polock change a light bulb? All he had was a twenty-dollar bill!
Why did the Polock sell his water skis? He couldn't find a lake with a hill in it!
Have you heard about the Polish princess? She could tell if someone peed in the bed!
What is long and hard that a Polish bride gets on her wedding night? A new last name!
How do you know you're flying over Poland? Toilet paper hanging on the clotheslines!
Why do Polish police cars have stripes on the side? So the cops can find the handles!
How do you know if a Pole has been using a computer? There's White-Out on the screen!
A Polish terrorist was sent to blow up a car. He burned his mouth on the exhaust pipe!
Did you hear about the man who was Polishing the flagpole? He varnished into thin air!

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