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Italian Jokes!

TOP Mafia Valentines: Hey.
A bomb fell on Italy. It slid off!
What does FIAT stand for? Fix it again Tony!
What is an innuendo? An Italian suppository!
How do you brainwash an Italian? Give him an enema!
What language do the Vatican Police speak? Pig Latin!
Why don't Italians have freckles? They all slide off!
What do you call an Italian with an IQ of 170? Sicily.
What do you call an Italian with an I.Q. of 180? Sicily!
How to Impress an Italian Man: Show up naked, Bring Beer.
What do you call a pimple on an Italian? A grease fitting!
You know you're Italian when you understand "Bada Bing!"
You know you're Italian when Christmas Eve . . . only fish!
You know you're Italian when you eat Sunday dinner at 2:00!
What does FIAT stand for? Frenzied Italian At Traffic-lights!
Top Signs a Mafia Boss is Nuts: Three words: edible pinky ring
You know you're Italian when your grandfather had a fig tree!
Why is Italian bread so long? So they can dip it into the sewer!
You know you're Italian when your mom's meatballs are the best!
What do you call an Italian with his hands in his pocket? A mute!
You know you're Italian when plastic on the furniture is normal!
What does FIAT stand for? Feeble Italian Attempt at Transportation!
What does FIAT stand for? Failure in Italian Automotive Technology!
You know you're Italian at some point in your life, you were a D.J.
You know you're Italian when you've called someone a "Mamaluke!"
Who really killed John F. Kennedy? Two hundred Italian sharpshooters!
Why do Italian men have mustaches? So they can look like their mammas.
How is the Christmas different? One Mary, one Jesus, and 32 Wise guys.
Top Signs a Mafia Boss is Nuts: His business card reads "Mafia boss"
Why do Italian men have mustaches? So they can look like their mothers!
TOP Mafia Valentines: Be my Valentine ... and we can do it execution-style.
You know you're Italian when at least 5 of your cousins live on your street!
How does an Italian get into an honest business? Usually through the skylight.
Mafia Valentine Days Cards: Be my Valentine, and we can do it execution-style.
How does an Italian get into an honest business? Usually through the skylight!
You know you're Italian when clothes from the Chess King will actually fit you!
Two men drive into a car wash. Which one is the Italian? The one on the scooter!
You know you are Italian and live in the 3rd Millennium if you're reading this!
Top Signs a Mafia Boss is Nuts: Keeps ordering hits on "that bastard Al Capone"
You know you're Italian when there are more than 28 people in your bridal party!
How come Italian's don't like Jehovah witnesses? They don't like any witnesses!
How does an Italian count his goats? He just counts the legs, and divides by four!
You know you're Italian when you only get one good shave from a disposable razor!
Top Ways To Make The Godfather More Appealing To Teenagers: Three words: no Jar Jar
You know you're Italian when you netted more than $50,000 on your first communion!
Signs You're on a Mafia Hit List: The Don recommends you try the Fettucine Olestra.
Top Signs a Mafia Boss is Nuts: He's the reputed head of the "Gabor Crime Family"
What noise does the large propeller of an Italian helicopter make? Whop, Whop, Whop!
Top Signs Your Neighbor Is in the Mafia: His lawn gnome is riddled with bulletholes.
You know you're Italian you earned you the title of "professor" among your aunts!
If Tarzan and Jane were Italian, what would Cheetah be? The least hairy of the three!
Why did the Italian staple his nuts together? "If you can't lick 'em, join 'em!"
You know you're Italian when all 5 of those cousins are named after your grandfather!
You know you're Italian when you have at least one sister that went to Beauty School!
Have you ever seen an Italian nativity scene? It has Jesus, Mary, and three wise guys!
TOP Mafia Valentines: Valentine, Dear, lend me a hand, So I won't be a self-made man.

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