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Gay Jokes!

A successful rancher died and left everything to his devoted wife. She was a very good-looking woman and determined to keep the ranch, but knew very little about ranching, so she decided to place an ad in the newspaper for a ranch hand. Two cowboys applied for the job. One was gay and the other a drunk. She thought long and hard about it, and when no one else applied she decided to hire the gay guy, figuring it would be safer to have him around the house than the drunk. He proved to be a hard worker who put in long hours every day and knew a lot about ranching. For weeks, the two of them worked, and the ranch was doing very well. Then one day, the rancher's widow said to the hired hand, "You have done a really good job, and the ranch looks great. You should go into town and kick up your heels." The hired hand readily agreed and went into town one Saturday night. One o'clock came, however, and he didn't return. Two o'clock and no hired hand. Finally he returned a round two-thirty, and upon entering the room, he found the rancher's widow sitting by the fireplace with a glass of wine, waiting for him. She quietly called him over to her.. "Unbutton my blouse and take it off," she said. Trembling, he did as she directed. "Now take off my boots." He did as she asked, ever so slowly.."Now take off my socks." He removed each gently and placed them neatly by her feet. "Now take off my skirt." He slowly unbuttoned it, constantly watching her eyes in the fire light. "Now take off my bra..." Again, with trembling hands, he did as he was told and dropped it to the floor. Then she looked at him and said, "If you ever wear my clothes into town again, you're fired."
Where do fags park? In the rear!
What is a shit? A faggots wet dream!
What do you call a homo Jew? A Heblew!
What does GAY stand for? Got Aids Yet?
How do faggots spell relief? N-O-A-I-D-S!
He's not my type. He won't sleep with me!
What do fags call hemorrhoids? Speed bumps!
What do you call a gay dinosaur? Megasorass!
What do you call a gay Jamaican guy. Pokemon!
What do you call a homo Jewish Male? A Heblew!
What do you call a gay milkman? A dairy queen!
What do you call a lesbian eskimo? A Klondike!
What do you call a gay milkman? A Dairy Queen.
What do you call a ship full of fags? The navy!
What do you call an Irish homosexual? Gay-lick.
What do you call a fag in a wheelchair? Rolaids!
What do you call a gay dentist? The tooth fairy!
What do you call a Jewish homosexual? A He-blew.
You know you are gay when...you hate Judy Garland!
What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? Lickalotopus!
What's a good pickup line at a Gay Bar? Hi there!
What do gay kids get for Christmas? Erection Sets!
You know you are gay when...you know your enemies!
You know you are gay when...you adore Judy Garland!
Gay translator: I'm a Romantic...means...I'm poor.
What do you call a gay guy in a wheelchair? Rolaids!
How do faggots dispose of their condoms? By Farting!
What do you call the foreskin on a faggot? Mudflaps!
How do faggots dispose of their condoms? By farting!
You know you are gay when...you know how to air kiss!
What do you call the foreskin on a faggot? Mud flaps!
"What do you call hemorrhoids on a fag? Speed bumps!
What do you call a Chinese homosexual? Chew-man-chew.
Gay translator: I need you...means...My hand is tired.
You know you are gay when...yes, you do have a condom!
What do you call a homosexual dinosaur? A Megasorarse!
You know you are gay when...you know when to play dumb!
What's a homosexual masochist? A sucker for punishment!
How does a faggot fake an orgasm? He spits on your back!
What would you call a poof with a hard on? A can opener!
What do you give a queer with AIDS for Christmas? Cancer!
What does AIDS stand for? Anally Injected Death Sentence!
What do you call a fag in a sleeping bag? A fruit rollup!
You know you are gay when...you know which wine to bring!
You know you are gay when...you made Donna Summer a star!
What kind of dog would a lesbian never have? A weiner dog!
What do you call two faggots on a waterbed? A fruit float!
Did you hear about the homo Indian? He was a brave sucker!
You know you are gay when...you know when to make an exit!
Hear about the new gay sitcom? "Leave it, it's Beaver!"
What do you call a gay dentist? The tooth fairy of course!
You know you are gay when...you've always got an opinion!
What do you call a gay club with no stools? A fruit stand!
Did you hear about the gay truckers? They exchanged loads!
You know you are gay when...you get to choose your family!
What does AIDS stand for? Arsehole Injected Death Sentence!
What do you call two faggots on a water bed? A fruit float!
You know you are gay when...you know when the party's over!
Gay translator: I've learned a lot from you...means...Next!
Did you hear about the gay magician? He vanished with a poof!
You know you are gay when...you made Donna Summer a has-been!
Did you hear about the faggot truckers? They exchanged loads!
You know you are gay when...you know how to make an entrance!
What do you call a gay bar with no bar stools? A fruit stand!
You know you are gay when...you know how to program your VCR!
How do you fit four gays on a bar stool? Turn it upside down.
What did one lesbian say to the other? "Your face or mine?"
You know you are gay when...your pets always have great names!
Why do so many gays have mustaches? To hide the stretch marks!
Did you hear about the gay rabbit? He found a hare up his ass!
You know you are gay when...sales clerks don't mess with you!
You know you are gay when...you know what to do for a hangover!

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