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Confucius Jokes!

Confucius says..."Man who live in glass house should change clothes in basement."
Confucius says..."Never argue with fool...he may be doing the same thing."
Confucius says..."Best time to buy new mattress, at first sign of spring."
Confucius says..."Adults are just wrinkled kids who owe money."
Confucius says..."An old grave digger is called an Elderberry."
Confucius says..."People who have gift of gab, not know how to wrap it up."
Confucius says..."Time flies like arrow. Fruit flies like bananas."
Confucius says..."A man who sits on tack gets point and will surely rise."
Confucius says..."Nature is a mother."
Confucius says..."Leakproof seals will."
How do you blindfold a chink? Dental floss!
Confucius says..."Stay in with the outs."
Confucius says..."Make dust or eat dust."
Confucius says..."Murphy was an optimist."
Confucius says..."Wet manure is slippery."
Confucius says..."You can't push a rope."
Confucius says..."Self starters...will not."
Confucius says..."When in trouble, delegate."
Confucius says..."To make egg roll, push it."
Confucius says..."All men eat, but Fu Manchu."
Confucius says..."Familiarity breeds attempt."
Confucius says..."Chipped dishes never break."
Confucius says..."It is later than you think."
Confucius says..."He who sniffs Coke, drowns."
Confucius says..."Quality assurance doesn't."
Confucius says..."If it works, don't fix it!"
Confucius says..."Celibacy is not hereditary."
Confucius says..."Confucius say too damn much."
Confucius says..."If the shoe fits, it's ugly"
Confucius says..."Is there life before coffee?"
Confucius says..."Interchangable parts won't."
Confucius says..."Always hire a rich attorney."
Confucius says..."Familiarity breeds children."
Confucius says..."Don't mess with Mrs. Murphy!"
Confucius says..."Never volunteer for anything."
Confucius says..."Quit while your still behind."
Confucius says..."Office Of Precision Guesswork"
Confucius says..."All laws are basically false."
Confucius says...'Those who quote me are fools."
Confucius says..."Man with no legs bums around."
Confucius says..."Interchangeable parts won't."
Confucius says..."There is always one more bug."
Confucius says..."No good deed goes unpunished."
Confucius says..."Hole happy, whole body happy."
Confucius says..."Virtue is its own punishment."
Confucius says..."A free agent is anything but."
Confucius says..."Man who sit on tack get point!"
Confucius says..."Hindsight is an exact science."
Confucius says..."Common sense is not so common."
Confucius says..."You can't fall off the floor."
Confucius says..."Nobody notices the big errors."
Confucius says..."Never be first to do anything."
Confucius says..."Everything goes wrong at once."
Confucius says..."No real problem has a solution."
Confucius says..."Nothing is as easy as it looks."
Confucius says..."Find old man in dark, not hard!"
Confucius says..."A closed mouth gathers no foot."
Confucius says..."To prevent hangover stay drunk!"
Confucius says..."Work to become, not to acquire."
Confucius says..."When in doubt, use brute force."
Confucius says..."If it doesn't work, expand it."
Confucius says..."Never buy from a rich salesman."
Confucius says..."We've always done it that way!"

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