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Celebrity Jokes!

A young 7 year boy goes up to his father and asks him, "Dad, what is the difference between potentially & realistically?" He thought for a moment, then answered, "Go ask your mother if she would sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars. Then ask your sister if she would sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars, and then ask your brother if he'd sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars. Come back and tell me what you learn from that." So the boy went to his mother and asked, "Would you sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars?" The mother replied, "Of course I would! We could really use that money to fix up the house and send you kids to a great university!" The boy then went to his sister and asked,"Would you sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars?" The girl replied,"Oh my Gawd! I LOVE Brad Pitt I would sleep with him in a heartbeat, are you nuts?" The boy then went to his brother and asked,"Would you sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars?" "Of course," the brother replied. "Do you know what a million bucks would buy?" The boy pondered the answers for a few days and then went back to his dad. His father asked him, "Did you find out the difference between potentially and realistically?" The boy replied, "Yes, potentially, you and I are sitting on three million dollars...but realistically, we're living with two hookers and a queer."
What's sex like for Michael? Child's Play!
What's Michael's favorite snack? Slim Jims!
What does Michael call an orgy? A fruit salad!
What is Snoop Dog's favorite weather? Drizzle!
How is Michael now? Feeling a little crotchety!
What's Michael's favorite fast food? Big Boys!
What's Michael's favorite dish? Creamed shrimp!
Why do Mike Tyson's eyes water during sex? Mace!
Why was Michael Jackson grounded? He was, "Bad!"
Why does Michael Jackson scream? Because it hurts!
What has four legs and no ears? Mike Tyson's dog!
What's 6 + 46 + 5? A threesome with Michael Jackson.
What's sex like for Michael? Like candy from a baby!
What do you call 5 dogs with no balls? The Spice Girls!
What is Michael Jackson's Alma Matter? Bring-em Young!
How many times does 12 go into 35? Ask Michael Jackson!
Who will Michael record his next album with? Les Brown!
How does Michael Jackson pick his nose? From a catalog!
What's Micheal Jackson's Chinese name? Melikeemyoung!
Did you see Dolly Parton's new shoes? Neither did she!
Where does Michael Jackson look for dates? Boys 'R Us!
What does Woody Allen call an unborn baby? A blind date!
What does Michael Jackson call a circumcision? Foreplay!
What's 6 + 46 + 5? A: A threesome with Michael Jackson!
How did JFK Jr. learn how to fly? He took a crash course!
Why was Helen Keller's leg yellow? Her dog was blind too!
Why is Michael so tough? He can lick any kid on the block!
Who's Michael Jackson's favorite poet? Emily Dick in son.
What are the two worst things about Bill Clinton? His face!
Why does Hillary always get on top? Bill can only screw up!
What's brown and half eaten? The Queen Mothers Easter egg!
Who's Michael Jackson's favorite poet? Emily Dick in son!
How will MJ pay off his old boyfriends? Liquefy some assets!
What will they call Michael's new TV series? Anus and Andy!
How does Michael Jackson keep his youth? Pizza and Nintendo!
What does Michael hand round after dinner? The under Eights.
What's sex like for Michael? Like taking candy from a baby.
What caused Michael Jackson's problem? He felt little Randy!
Why's Michael trying out for the NBA? He's a crack shooter.
How does Michael like to party? He sips a couple of Tall Boys!
What's black and comes in little white cans? Michael Jackson!
Which chips does Michael Jackson like to munch on? O'Boysies!
What's white and in Michael Jackson's pocket? His other hand!
Michael Jackson is so bad he could have been a Catholic priest!
Why does Michael like children so much? He knows how they feel!
What do you do if Michael Jackson is drowning? Throw him a buoy!
What do Michael Jackson and a jockey both ride? Three year olds!
What was JFK Jr. drinking at the time of the crash? Ocean Spray!
What does JFK Jr. miss most about Martha's Vineyard? The runway!
Hear about the new Michael Jackson doll? It comes in a little can!
What's black and white and comes in little cans? Michael Jackson.
Hear about the new Michael Jackson doll? It comes in a little can.
What is Michael Jackson's ideal a perfect 10? Two five year olds!
Why does Michael really need to go to rehab? He's a crack addict!
Where is Michael Jackson's other glove? In Brooke Shields' pants!
Who's happy when Michael Jackson gets a boy to stay over? Bubbles!
What's Michael Jackson's favorite nursery rhyme? Little Boy Blew!
Ellen Degeneres: I think they should have a Barbie with a buzz cut!
Why are Michael Jackson's pants so small? Because they aren't his!
What does Michael Jackson hand round after dinner? The Under Eights!
Where's Michael going on holiday? He's off to Tampa with the kids!
Who does Michael Jackson consider a Perfect "10"? Two 5 year olds!
What has 18 balls and 3 pubic hairs? A Michael Jackson slumber party!
What did Michael Jackson say to Woody Allen? Got two fives for a ten?
Why doesn't Bill Clinton like old houses? He's afraid of the draft!
What were Michael Jackson's baby's first words? Which one's mommy?
Why's Michael Jackson trying out for the NBA? He's a crack shooter!
Why did Michael Jackson want his own boy? The rent is $2,000,000 each!
What's Bill Clinton's idea of safe sex? When Hillary is out of town!
What makes Michael Jackson so unique? It's the little boy inside him!
Heard about Michael Jackson's new songs? I'm Forever Blowing Bubbles!

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