Bumper Stickers!(Front Bumper) If you can read this, I didn't hit you hard enough.
Life isn't too short. It's the longest thing anyone will ever do.
(Spotted on a passing motorcycle): If you can read this, my wife fell off!
Bumper Sticker: Lord, walk beside me with your arm on my shoulder and your hand over my mouth.
Bumper Sticker: "If you were made in God's image, how did you get to be so ugly?"
0-60 in 15 minutes!
1.8 x 1012 furlongs per fortnight. 'Tis a good Idea, and it doth be the Law.
2 + 2 = 5 for extremely large values of 2.
3 kinds of people: Those who can count and those who can't.
4 out of 5 voices in my head say Go For It!
7 days with out Jesus makes one weak.
42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot!
99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name!
100% Irony Free
100,000 Sperm And You Were The Fastest?
150 Million True Believers. 144,000 taken up in the Rapture. Do YOU feel LUCKY?
186,000 Miles/Second: It's Not Just A Good Idea, It's The Law!
333: I'm only half evil.
500,000 battered women and I'm still eating mine plain.
A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand!
Abandon the search for Truth; settle for a good fantasy.
A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory!
A black guy and a Mexican guy opened a restaurant. It's called Nacho Mama!
A black guy and his girlfriend are in a car. Who's driving? The cop.
A book worth banning is a book worth reading
About the only thing that comes to us without effort is old age.
Above all else, sky. (thanks to Evets)
Abstinence is a good thing, but it should always be practiced in moderation!
A cat, by any other name, is still a sneaky little furball that barfs on the furniture
According to my best recollection, I don't remember.
According to my calculations the problem doesn't exist.
ACCOUNTANTS are good with figures.
A chill in the air, a cat on the lap, a mug of chocolate, and a good book. Ah, Paradise!
A chill in the air, a cat on the lap, a mug of java and a good book. Ah paradise!
A church alive is worth the surprise!
A church steeple with a lightning rod on top shows a lack of faith!
A clean car is a sign if sick mind.
A clean desk is a sign of a cluttered desk drawer!
A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
A closed mind doesn't need drugs-- It's already wasted
A closed mouth gathers no foot.
A communist is someone who has nothing and is eager to share it with others!
A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking!
A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good!
A crowded elevator smells different to a midget
ACTORS do it on cue.
A cubicle is just a padded cell without a door.
A day without sunshine is like, well, night.
A Day Without Sunshine Is Like, You Know, Night
A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman's birthday but never remembers her age.
A diplomat is someone who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you will look forward to the trip.
Adopted kids are such a pain, you have to teach them to look like you!
Adrenalin is my drug of choice.
Adults are just kids who owe money.
Adults are just kids with money.
ADVERTISERS use the "new, improved" method.
A dyslexic man walks into the bra!
A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.
A flashlight is a case for holding dead batteries!