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Basketball Jokes!

What's a cheerleader's favorite color? Yeller!
What does a hunter do with a basketball? He shoots it!
They're a team in transition. They're going from bad to worse!
What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball?  Juan on Juan
Why can't you play sports in the jungle? Because of the cheetahs!
Why did the basketball player go to jail? Because he shot the ball!
Why are basketball players such messy eaters? Because they dribble!
Why do basketball players love cookies? Because they can dunk them!
Why are basketball players messy eaters? They're always dribbling!
Why can't you play sports in the jungle? Because of the cheetahs.
Why did Ron Artest leave the game early? He wanted to beat the crowd!
The Lakers are a team in transition. They're going from bad to worse!
Why are basketball players messy eaters? They're always dribbling.
Why was Cinderella thrown off the team? She ran away from the ball.
How did the basketball court get wet? The players dribbled all over it!
Why did Ron Artest leave the game early? He wanted to beat the crowd.
What do basketball players and babies have in common? They both dribble!
Why couldn't the athlete listen to his music? Because he broke a record!
What do cheerleaders drink before they go to a basketball game? Root beer!
How did the basketball court get wet? The players dribbled all over it.
How do basketball players stay cool during a game? They stand near the fans!
Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team? She ran away from the ball.
The Final Four: sounds like the number of dollars left in O.J.'s bank account.
If an athlete gets athlete's foot, what does an astronaut get? A: Missile toe!
Why did the coach let the elephant play basketball? He already broke the bench!
Why R black people good at basketball? Beause they can run shoot jump and steal!
Why did the coach let the elephant play basketball? A: He already broke the bench.
Why did the chicken cross the basketball court? It heard the referee was blowing fouls!
Why is basketball the grossest sport there is? Because they dribble all over the court!
What do you do when you see an elephant with a basketball? You get out of the way fast!
March Madness describes the mood of everyone who's already working on their income tax.
What do you do when you see an elephant with a basketball? A: You get out of the way fast.
Why did the battered wife decide to live with the New York Knicks? They don't beat anybody!
What's the difference between a basketball player and a dog? One drools, the other dribbles!
Basketball is America's favorite running sport. Number two is avoiding child support payments!
What's the difference between a basketball player and a dog? A: One drools, the other dribbles.
We're shooting 100 percent - 60 percent from the field and 40 percent from the free-throw line!
Basketball is America's favorite "running" sport. Number two is avoiding child support payments.
Stephon Marbury is currently talking to three teams about playing in Europe. They're American teams.
I can remember the old days of basketball when they shot the ball up at the basket, not down into it!
I can remember the old days of basketball -- when they shot the ball up at the basket, not down into it.
Free agent Jason Kidd flew to New York City for a meeting with the Knicks. The Mets are also interested.
The NBA season is so long the players seldom get time to spend at home with their butlers and chauffeurs!
Stephen Curry has said that playing for the Knicks would be a dream come true. Funny, we've had the same nightmare.
What do the New York Knicks and an ugly pimple-faced kid have in common? It's almost impossible for either to score!
The most popular winter sports are ice skating, skiing, and jumping up and yelling, "That was a foul, Whistle-Breath!"
Free agent guard Stephon Marbury said there are plenty of teams interested in his services. The teams, however, disagree.
You know you are adicted to basketball when...you paint your room orange with just some abrupt lines of black here and there
You know you are totally and hopelessly addicted to basketball when...You are heard in your sleep saying: "Why, Kobe. Why?"
College basketball exists out of necessity. If there was no basketball, it would be necessary for the players to attend class.
No, but they gave one to me anyway. - L.A. Lakers rookie Elden Campbell when asked if he earned a degree at Clemson University.
The NBA Playoffs started this weekend. And as per tradition, they kicked off with the ceremonial clearing out of the Knicks lockers.
How many NCAA basketball players does it take to change a light bulb? Only one. but he gets money, a car, and three credit hours for it!
You know you are totally and hopelessly addicted to basketball when...You paint your room orange with abrupt lines of black here and there!
The first rule of watching basketball on TV: Watch only the last two minutes. Nothing much happens until then, and they only last a half hour.
You know you are totally and hopelessly addicted to basketball when...5ive remains your all-time favorite music band and Jay-Z your favorite rapper!
You know you are totally and hopelessly addicted to basketball when...You only buy "Sports Illustrated" issues when they have a basketball cover on!
You know you are totally and hopelessly addicted to basketball when...you suggest MIT takes over the publication of the "Journal of Basketball Studies"
You know you are totally and hopelessly addicted to basketball when...Your heart pounds so hard you can hardly say hi to your favorite basketball player!
You know you are totally and hopelessly addicted to basketball when...you wore a black tie as a sign of mourning for a full month after Indianapolis 2002.
You know you are addicted to basketball when...it's celebration time in your home every game Shaquille's free throw percentage rate jumps to double figures...
You know you are addicted to basketball when...you think Shaq raps better than Dr. Dre and LL Cool J and acts better than Jack Nicholson and Denzel Washington...
Kobe asks Shaq: Why don't you shoot from the three point line? Shaq goes: I've tried it in "NBA Live 2008" about 1000 times but I never made it. So why bother?
You know you are totally and hopelessly addicted to basketball when...in a true spirit of NAFTA, you campaign for ten new NBA franchises each for Canada and Mexico.
I play in the over-40 basketball league. We don't have jump balls. The ref just puts the ball on the floor and whoever can bend over and pick it up gets possession.
Free agent forward David Lee has said he'd like to remain a Knick and be part of a "winning environment." Someone should tell him that you can't do both at once.
You know you are addicted to basketball when...you are outraged with so many 'phony' basketball fans who start leaving the game full three minutes before the final whistle...
You know you are totally and hopelessly addicted to basketball when...You nominate Justin Timberlake and Britney Spears as the next basketball sensation duo after Kobe and Shaq!
You know you are totally and hopelessly addicted to basketball when...Asked about the name of the most famous Chinese communist leader, you respond that his name is Yao Tse-Tung!
You know you are totally and hopelessly addicted to basketball when...your geography teacher asks for a class presentation and you entitle your subject: The land His Airness made famous.
You know you are totally and hopelessly addicted to basketball when...after games, you never go down to the floor fearing you may unnecessarily cause damage to the basketball court floor...
You know you are totally and hopelessly addicted to basketball when...You know all there is to know about Earl the Goat Manigault, but you've never heard about Michael Owen or David Beckham!
The captain of a team says to the ref, "My coach wants to know if there is a penalty for thinking." The ref says, "No." The captain says, "Well my coach thinks you're an asshole, then!"
You know you are totally and hopelessly addicted to basketball when...you never read books. Actually never, until NBA launched its "Read to Achieve" campaign... Now you read 10 books a month!

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